Breaking Down What Makes BDSM Sexy

To make it easier for you to find texts that fit your passionate preferences, we’ve put all the published BDSM stories and poems into different topics. Here you will find the topics of all published texts as well as the distinction of who submits to whom. For a more exact search and further search criteria please use the text search.

BDSM

The beating arguments in the BDSM texts are not just whips and whips, but everything else that passionately hurts or leaves impressions.

Bondage

Bondage texts are not just captivating stories, but those that bind, chop, and laced.

Fetish

Texts with the theme fetish shine with lovers of the second skin from latex, lacquer and leather and with all other fetishists.

Fantasy

Some stories that are fantastic also have such a background. You can find them in the fantasy theme.

Science fiction

Who really believes that there will be no pain in the future? Why should not it be possible to whip up whips and whips in two hundred years? Or will everything be different in the future? You can search the options online.

Satire

SM is a tough and serious thing, where there is nothing to laugh about? An ironic look is already a mistake? Side blows are there at most with the device? Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that!

Poetry

Rhymed or not rhymed – in some verses everyone makes his own rhyme. We collected them in the subject of poetry.

Creative corner

Build percussion instruments yourself? Bake with stubby cookies? In the topic creative corner you will find suggestions and recipes for your creativity.

BDSM as the game of power, submission and shame can add a special spice to sex.

However, it is often the case that a person has sexual fantasies and desires in this area and only encounters incomprehension with his partner or even feels his own fantasies as a burden. In these cases, it is worth seeking sexual health help to increase the quality of life in sexuality.

Bondage as art form In the Japanese Bondage it is mainly about submission and domination. I am interested in how such a preference actually arises? Is there a “reason” why a person likes to be submissive or dominant? Is it usually associated with an experience, not even a sexual one?

To give a blanket answer here is certainly not possible. From a psychotherapeutic point of view, the main question would be: Is it really about real sexual submission and dominance or a game with the theme of submission and domination?

Depending on how the answer turns out, that makes a huge difference to the assessment. Real sexual violence, real sexual subjugation and real sexual dominance are never justifiable as such, the desire for it both active and passive indicates serious mental disorders, the exercise may even be criminally relevant.

The situation is quite different, however, when people want to experience sexual domination and submission in the game. It may even be some sort of coping strategy to deal with actual experiences of violence, something in childhood. That would be something like the experience of a psychotherapeutic anxiety exposure: Yes, I can be captivated and dominated in the game here and now in the game – and even feel sexual pleasure.

In my practice, I have repeatedly met people who have been sexually assaulted during childhood and adolescence and later developed sexual preferences in the area of BDSM, both as a dominant and a submissive part.

Bondage as art form pleasure and pain

Why is the pain and pleasure so close to each other? The cause is probably that in sexual assaults it can also lead to sexual arousal of the victim – and thereby the victim to the development of masochistic sexual preferences. Worse, perpetrators lead this repeatedly to their own justification: The victim “but also participated and had his fun.” This argument is obviously disgusting!

The experience of borderline injury, anxiety and pain is stored in some victims together with sexual arousal as a memory in the brain very closely linked and henceforth these sizes can trigger each other. Using the example of bondage, this means: The bondage as such triggers sexual excitement in the former victim. So bondage can lead directly to sexual arousal.

It is often the case that the man ties the woman. Are these still unconscious role patterns anchored in us? That may be the rule in the Japanese bondage scene – here in Western Europe; perhaps even the opposite is true. In my estimation, we even have a men overhang towards submission.

The typical client for bondage is in any case a man in German-speaking countries, who pays a lot of money, to be fixed by a domino and playfully mistreated. However, there are of course submissive women with us. There is no exact statistics to my knowledge:

According to the World Health Organization, the most important criterion that something is a disease is the existence of a psychological burden. Without this criterion, there is the danger of calling everything possible as sick, up to statements: this or that would be “sick” art or “sick” politics etc.

A disease definition without criterion of suffering is very dangerous. She would plainly declare the statistical average behavior to be “healthy” and describe all behavior that deviates from it as “sick.” Where that leads, history has already shown enough.

Is urethral sounding painful? So again in plain language: bondage and BDSM, practiced by mutual agreement, are not sick, but a variety of human sexuality that can give some people a lot of intimacy and very intense sexual pleasure. And that is something good from a psychotherapeutic point of view! You can find tools for urethral sounding at this website.

Is it possible to speak of fetish in bondage? Can the rope be understood as a “fetish object”?

A sexual fetish is an object that causes or intensifies sexual arousal in a person as such. Most people, both men and women, have fetishes, often without calling themselves that. This can already be the joy of certain garments or even on certain fragrances and perfumes.

To what extent the rope as such triggers sexual arousal in bondage is a rather academic question. For most bondage friends, it’s probably more the gesture of bondage that is sexually interesting as the item rope itself.